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| My Grandfather's Roses in bloom once again |
The other day I had one of those scary moments when I thought "Shit, I am going to loose it... this thing I love it is going to be gone, and there is nothing I can do about it." It was an irrational fear- the kind that happens only when I am feeling insecure and want to nail down everything that I love tight to my chest where I know it is safe. I am so lucky to be showered with so much love- this makes me bloody scared and thankful all at once.
But it will all be gone one day. In a hundred years everyone I love will be gone. This is what Robert Frost meant when he wrote "nothing gold can stay." Then again I transplanted my grandfather's roses to my house after he died. Now those blooms are a strange paradox... blooming for a short time yet faithfully returning each year.
So something about all this IS constant... in a North Star sort of a way.
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I know that what I am feeling has been felt before by countless folks behind me who were all fabulous in their own way but seriously...
***you are made of gold***
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Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf,
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day
Nothing gold can stay.
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf,
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day
Nothing gold can stay.
-Robert Frost
What a beautiful post. I know what you mean. Some days I want to let every thing go and just fly away with nothing to hold me down and other days I want to hold things so close I almost kill them with my smothering. Always the paradox.
ReplyDeleteBah! That is soooo true! :)
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